The New Musketeers
by The Orginal Doctor
Summary: A person finds out that he's related to the legendary D'Artangan and sets out to try and find the descendents of the other Musketeers
1. Chapter 1

**The New Musketeers : Prologue : An Amazing Discovery**

It was a typical late November day. The rain was teeming down, the wind was blowing a gale and the forecast for the rest of the day was similarly uninspiring. John leaned back in his chair and watched as the news reported all the usual events. Suicide Bombings in Iraq, Iran and North Korea sabre rattling with the United States, Afghanistan heading further into turmoil.

"Things were so much easier in the past" he thought, as he finished downloading a movie about the Three Musketeers. "You knew who your enemies were, you could eat, drink and be merry and not have to worry about obesity or the like!"

As the movie finished downloading, a pop up box appeared.

"Thank you for downloading your movie, Please take a moment to visit our sponsor"

Usually, John would have ignored pop up boxes, but as he was bored rigid he felt he needed a little fun. He clicked the OK button and "Family welcomed him to their home page.

John was interested in family history, but hadn't got around to actually making a family tree, so decided to waste a few hours doing that. By lunchtime, he had completed his family up to 1892 but had to admit prior to that he had not a clue. He then read something rather interesting.

"This site is unique in that it has a self search function. Based on the data you supply, we can identify, locate and verify ancestors based on a system of probablity. If you would like to use this service, please click here"

John clicked and a box appeared saying "Analysing family data so far inputted" which then changed to "Searching Web". A few moments later, another box appeared.

"We have identified 500,000 possible leads. To search these records in detail will take 2 hours and 15 minutes. To search, click here!"

"Well, I don't see why not" said John, as he ejected the DVD out of his computer and placed it in his DVD player. He clicked the button, switched the monitor off and lost himself in the world of the Musketeers.

When the movie finished, John switched the computer back on and boy had it been busy. What started out as just twelve branches now extended to several hundred. As he scrolled through the names he was amazed at how far back he was going.

He was born in 1974, and he knew his own family history back to 1892, but it went further back that than.

Past the days of the American Civil War, past the Industrial Revolution, past the great European Wars, even past the famed royal familes of Europe. It was while he was looking at the time of the Louis's in France that he thought he saw a familar name. He stopped scrolling and zoomed in.

"It can't be!" he said, as he stared at the screen. "No, I refuse to believe it". He clicked on the box and the following appeared.

"Surname: D'Artangan, First Name: Not known. Born: 1608, Died: 1667. Occupation: Musketeer to King Louis XIII 1625 - 1665. Probabilty of ancestor: 95.5"

John fell over in his chair as he struggled with what the site was saying. It was saying that that it was more likely than not that he was related to D'Artangan. The famed Musketeer that served King Louis. The famed Musketeer who solved the riddle of the Man in the Iron Mask. The famed Musketeer who was the last surviving member of the orginal team.

John saved the file and printed it out, and then an idea struck him. "What about the others?" he wondered, "Aramis, Athos and Porthos? Could their descendents be around today?"


	2. Chapter 2

John was still staggered by the fact that he was related to D'Artangan and was set on the way to finding out if any of the other Musketeers relatives were still around. The problem was how to convince people that this was the real deal and not some form of internet scam. He decided to screen grab the part of the family tree that had shocked him and explain in great detail what had happened and posted the message on every Musketeer website and forum he could find.

After a week, all he'd had was lots of spam e-mails saying that he was eligible to win a million dollars and he was beginning to give up hope. The next message looked a bit more interesting. It came from a person called "musketeerathos" and he explained that he knew he'd been related to Athos but always assumed it was a family joke. But according to the site there was a 97 chance that he was related. John replied to the e-mail and decided to introduce himself.

"Hello there, thanks for mailing me. Glad to see that your suspicions were correct. My name's John and I'm from England and as I mentioned in the post I'm hoping to find other relatives of the Musketeers. You never know, perhaps we could reform them :-)"

A couple of hours later, he got a reply:

"Yeah, that would be so cool. My name Thomas and I come from Texas in the United States. I'm 29 and am a member of the local living history group and played my ancestor just last week. I will tell you something interesting though. Due to my ancestor's "influence" with regard to all things alcoholic, I was asked to get as drunk as possible. Now, I like a drink as much as the next person, but to get drunk on purpose? Thank goodness, I had a designated driver. What was strange was that despite all the flaggards I drank I didn't feel drunk in the slightest which I thought was rather a suprise, so yesterday I drank 24 cans of beer that my roommate has in the fridge and then went for a drive. I didn't notice anything imparing my driving, so decided to improvise. That attracted the attention of the local police and I was asked to take a soberity test. Walking in a straight line and co-ordination was a doddle, so I was asked to take a breath test. The trooper looked at the result with an expression that prompted me to ask what the matter was. "Sir" he replied, "you have been drinking haven't you?" "Yes" I replied, "and I admit it was a mistake". He then showed me the test and it was negative. No alcohol was detected at all. It's almost as if my ancestor's incessant drinking makes it that I can't be drunk. Hope to be able to help you find our other colleagues."

As John read the e-mail he wondered. Could the Musketeers have been at the top of the evolutionary ladder and that some of their skills had passed down to their descendants. Athos's love of drinking had enabled Thomas to drink without getting drunk so would that mean that Aramis's descendant would be a high ranking member of the clergy and that Porthos's descendant could be a pro strongman and that D'Artanganan's descendant (himself) would be an expert swordsman.

Seeking to put the theory to the test, he loaded a game on his new Wii console that was a sword fighting game. He chose the hardest option and started the game. Despite never having played the game, nor having handled a sword, he beat the opponent in less than 10 seconds. The theory was indeed true, perhaps John's suggestion of reforming the Musketeers wasn't so silly after all. 


	3. Chapter 3

Thomas and John got to know each other very well indeed over the weeks that followed and even sent each other Musketeer themed e-cards on Christmas Day.

As the New Year dawned, a new recruit arrived from a very unusual source. It was a vicar based in Hong Kong whose relatives had arrived from France in 1880. He had always had an interest in family history and was amazed to find out that he had a 99 chance of being related to Aramis, the priestly member of the Musketeers. He explained that he was on a sabbatical trip to the UK at the end of January and he would like to meet up with "his fellow Musketeers".

John quickly e-mailed Thomas who replied that they should meet up and on January 30th they all met up at London Heathrow Airport and the newest member introduced himself.

His name was Jean Leopold, although a Hong Kong resident by birth, his great grandparents were French and always suspected the website confirmed their connection to the Musketeers.

"Does this mean then?" asked Thomas, "that you can make things quiet then?"

Jean looked at Thomas as John explained about their Musketeer like powers.

"No" replied Jean, "but I'm very good at poetry. Listen, give me three random subjects in the context of love".

"Okay then" said John, "Roses, Affection and Rebirth"

"Interesting choice, now who's in need for some love" asked Jean as he spied two people having a heated discussion.

"I don't care what you said" shouted the woman, "you're a two timing..."

"Excuse me sir, madam" said Jean, "My name is Jean and I'm the poet in residence. This fine man has asked me to recite this poem I have just written for you. My red rose hide your thorns, Without your affections I am lost and forlorn, Give me love, so that I may be reborn"

"Oh, Peter!" cried the woman hugging the man as Jean walked back to Thomas and John who looked at each other with amazement.

The next day the phone rang and a television producer was on the other end. He'd seen Jean's display of poetry and wanted them to appear on a daytime chat show programme in their costumes. John explained that they hadn't got that far yet,

"Not a problem" said the producer, "We've got some in stock here at the studios. See you this afternoon then at three?"

John agreed and went to tell his friends 


	4. Chapter 4

"And that was Snap with their 1992 hit "Rythmn is a Dancer" and they'll be hitting the stage tonight on their farewell tour. After the break on Today now, we'll meet the 21st century version of the literary heroes who allowed Gene Kelly his break into Hollywood"

"And we're clear, back in three people!"

As the band left the stage, Thomas, John and Jean made their way to the couch and sat down. They could hardly believe that they were about to be on national television in the UK but as the floor manager came up to them and asked if the costumes were all right they realised that this was all for real.

"Back in 10, people! 5, 4, 3" shouted the floor manager and cued the presenter.

"Now, think of Gene Kelly and I suspect this is what you think of?"

The monitors in the studio switched to the famous scene from "Singing in the Rain" where Gene Kelly dances in the rain.

"Well, his break came as D'Artangan in the Three Musketeers in 1948 and with us in the studio today are three men who have more than the usual reason to be dressed up in this finery. So tell us, how did this all start?"

John explained how the three got together and asked if anyone knew or suspected of a connection to Porthos to contact them via their special e-mail and they would check to see if they could confirm the claim.

"And if you manage to find Porthos, what then?"

"Well" replied John, "I'd never thought that we would get this far in the first place!"

"Well, best of luck in finding your Porthos, after the break we meet the former WWE star who has started his own real wrestling federation and his star wrestler the Masked Musketeer!"

The three friends stared at each other and when the floor manager announced they were clear Jean used some of his flowery poetry to convince the presenter to keep them there.

"Welcome back, we still have our Musketeer guests and joining us now is Chris Biglow a former WWE star who has started his own federation here in our own town and who will hold a special event for the troops about to go to Iraq"

Chris then went into an advertsing spiel about the event when the friends only paid little attention to, but when he started on the Masked Musketeer their ears pricked up

"Oh, yeah, he's our real star. 6ft 1, 300lbs of lean muscle. He can lift things that not even the Hulkster could manage. Just last week he deadlifted 1,500lbs for 12 reps, that means that if he put all of his effort into one lift we reckon he could deadlift over 2,000lbs"

"Sounds fascinating. Chris, thanks for coming. The show starts at 7.00pm tonight at the high school"

"I think we've found our Porthos!" smiled John 


	5. Chapter 5

"Ladies and gentlemen, the next match is scheduled for one fall. Presenting from Detroit, Michigan, weighing 250lbs, The Motorman tonight accompanied by his girlfriend Trophy Girl!"

"I'll never understand wrestling as long as I live" said Thomas, as they watched the bout unfolding in their special VIP box. John and Jean nodded in agreement

"And his challenger, weighing 400lbs and resident in Fresno, California, the Dark Destroyer!

As the wrestler entered the arena, the crowd starting booing and as he made his way into the ring, he glanced at the Motorman and charged at him before the bell even rang.

"I say, that's a bit unkind" commented John.

"What do you make of that then?" asked Jean as the Dark Destroyer lifted the Motorman over his head and slammed him to the floor. A referee came up to object but was dealt with a similar manner.

"My word" said Jean, "they're got to stop this!"

Just then, a French flag appeared on the screens behind the ring and the French national anthem blasted out on the PA system.

"Ladies and gentlemen" came an annoucement, "presenting from 17th century France, the Masked Musketeer!"

Thomas, John and Jean peered over the edge of their box. This new wrestler certainly looked the part of a Musketeer, but was he the missing link?

The wrestler strode into the ring and without saying a word, grabbed the Dark Destroyer by his leotard and hoisted him into the air causing the entire audience to gasp which was then followed by a chanting: "Fleur De Lys, Fleur De Lys".

The Masked Musketeer nodded and in a blistering turn of speed for someone his size ended up with his legs split and the Dark Destroyer pinned in a way that looked just like a Fleur De Lys. He then went over to the Motorman and raised his arm.

"Ladies and Gentleman, your winner by one fall. The Motorman"

After the show had finished, the three friends found the Masked Musketeer's trailer. Unfortunately it was guarded by two very burly men and therefore poetry wouldn't help. Despite that the three went to the door and knocked gingerly. The door opened and a beaming face greeted them.

"Come in, mes amis" he smiled and invited the three friends in. As they entered they gasped. The trailer was covered with their pictures from all the appearances they had made over the course of the last six months.

"Does..." stammered Thomas, "this mean that..."

"Does?" bellowed the Masked Musketeer, "I was born to be Porthos!" and spent the rest of the evening explaining that he was born into Porthos's direct family and just like the famed strongman had been bleesed with his ancestor's strength and as a result had become very good at wrestling but fancied something a little different. "What I really fancied doing he said, was being a superhero!"

"Perhaps we can all be superheroes!" replied Thomas, smiling 


End file.
